


silver and gold

by koteosa



Series: tumblr prompts [5]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Background Poly, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22785805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koteosa/pseuds/koteosa
Summary: Tumblr prompt, Asra shows his childhood home under the docks to the apprentice. Using my male apprentice, Kamui.
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra (The Arcana), Asra (The Arcana)/Original Male Character(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: tumblr prompts [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634764
Kudos: 17





	silver and gold

**Author's Note:**

> Apprentice/Julian is mentioned several times but never shown

Being torn from the world from dreams so suddenly wasn't what Kamui would call _pleasant_. One moment he's relaxing on board a ship sailing glittering, multicolored waters with his two favorite people in the world, and next he's groggy, he can barely see, his body feels immensely heavy and all he can properly register are the fingers poking him in the chest and shoulder.

"Kamui," a soft voice to his right calls quietly. "Kamui, Kamui, Kamui…"

He swats at the hand like a fly. Not awake enough to register _who_ was talking, even though there really only could be one candidate—Faust didn't sound like that, and Julian was staying with his family for awhile. Of course, Julian _also_ didn't sound like this, but Kamui was just tired enough to mistake the two voices for each other.

"Oh my god, what?" he grumpily, and exhaustedly mumbles, trying to curl up under their comfy blankets; his body thanks him for the positioning and the slight stretch his limbs are provided. There's no good reason to be up right now, so he corks his eyes shut again, trying not to lose the fragile connection he has to a deep sleep.

Soft lips start kissing him all over his cheek and neck. "Kamui, wake up," Asra gently insists, a childish lilt to his tone. Kamui couldn't possibly fathom what he was doing, it wasn't anyone's birthday or anniversary or anything like that, just a normal day in the middle of spring. Regardless, Asra keeps going, holding him from the side while continuing to pepper him with little kisses, sweetly repeating Kamui's name and " _I love you_ " until finally Kamui stirs, cracking open his eyes to stare up at the magician. It's really hard to see, at first, struggling to focus on Asra's warm grin through the blurry spots in his vision.

Glancing to the window to the left of the bed, Kamui can easily tell it's currently the crack of dawn. The night sky was only barely being pushed away by the rising sun. Being woken up wasn't his favorite thing in the world, no matter the time, but his schedule had been fairly regular ever since the two had started going to bed with him every night. But Asra knew that, so there must be a good reason why this was happening. The magician was spontaneous, so Kamui couldn't really fault him for not giving any warning that this was going to happen.

"Asra, what…?"

He had trailed off tiredly anyway, but still Asra cuts him off with a kiss, something like excitement glimmering in his eyes. The irritation in Kamui's body melts away instantaneously to be replaced with a tender warmth, and that pull of longing that always made him want to go seeking more. Damn him, he knew that, didn't he?

"Kamui," Asra says sweetly, always so fond of saying the names of those he loved, or so Kamui had noticed. "Come on, get up. I have something to show you."

Letting out a sleepy groan and stretching his limbs, Kamui murmurs, "It better be really good."

"You'll like it. But we have to do it now, for the atmosphere."

"For the…? For fuck's sake, Asra. You're lucky I love you so much."

Returning the comment with a smug grin, Asra hops off the bed with a little bounce, further coaxing Kamui from sleep. With more tired groans, sighs, and stretches, Kamui gets out of bed and throws on something easy and comfortable. Asra hovers by the doorway the entire time, seeming at once excited and jittery. Kamui wants to ask, but can't find the right words so early in the morning. This was clearly some sort of surprise, and Asra was the _most_ tight-lipped person in the world when he wanted to be.

With some white, calf-length boots, soft white pants and a loose red shirt with long, flowing sleeves and a robe-like collar tucked into the waistband, he quickly finger-combs his hair into some semblance of order before joining Asra by the door. The magician pushes off from where he was leaning against the doorframe, sets a hand on Kamui's bicep, and exchanges a quick, but firm kiss with him before grabbing him by the hand and leading him downstairs. Luckily, there's no haste to his step, so Kamui can keep up fairly easily. They slowly speed up over time, though, but only at such a rate that Kamui isn't too exhausted to match him.

"Where are we going?" Kamui asks, peering around them at the city, bathed in in the dim light of the sun just barely peeking over the horizon. There were a few people out and about. They pass by some merchants setting up their market stalls, and Kamui wants to stop to buy something to eat somewhere, but Asra seems single-mindedly focused on their goal. Kamui doesn't want to force him to stop.

Asra smiles warmly at him, excitement and anxiety rolling off of him in confusing waves. For a moment, Kamui wonders if he's about to propose, but there's no way he'd time it like this. Probably. "You'll see," Asra vaguely says, leaving Kamui to wonder some more. It takes a lot of mental gymnastics, and Asra reassuringly squeezing his hand, but he manages to get his mind off of it.

Eventually they reach the docks, where Kamui does his best not to look at the island out on the horizon, no matter how much his eyes slide over to it in a daze. The last time he'd been here wasn't fun, and the rickety old boat was still on the docks exactly where they'd left it, despite being over a year since they'd used it. He couldn't be sure why Asra was so excited to be here; but it suddenly made sense why he was so fretful and apprehensive, at the same time.

"Um," Kamui mumbles, "What are we doing at the east docks?"

Leading them through the sand, Asra hesitates before speaking. "Well, you… remember what I told you, about how I used to sleep on the beach as a child?"

Kamui looks up at him, but he's watching their feet instead. He remembers, of course, even more now that he remembered Muriel, too. It's easy to put two and two together and figure out this must be the beach he was talking about. When he'd been told about that, he automatically imagined a bunch of orphan children, sleeping in sloppy piles all around the beach like a bunch of cats or dogs. Maybe with some ratty-looking fabrics for blankets. But he'd never seen such a thing on the beach in all his remembered life, and the orphans hadn't exactly gone away, so it was silly of him to have pictured the place as some kind of orphanage.

No, they were spread out everywhere, sleeping in alleyways and under carts and in old, abandoned buildings, and it made his heart hurt thinking about it. That was no life for a child. And yet it was Asra's life, and that made it so much more painful to think about. He couldn't even imagine. The shop had been his home all this time, and even _it_ felt cold and lonely sometimes. To be on the streets, instead, to sleep on the dirty, wet, hard ground, scorned by everyone around you like you were some kind of pest, fighting just to stay alive… how cruel could this city be?

Asra continues, "Yesterday, I came back here to… check something. The place I used to sleep is still here. No one's disturbed it, even all these years later."

Ruby eyes snap up to him with interest. Asra notices, aiming a knowing grin in his lover's direction.

"Do you want to see it?" Asra asks.

"Yes," comes Kamui's immediate response, suddenly feeling a lot more alert, posture straightening. Asra's smile grows, and his steps quicken, leading Kamui over to the docks. But rather than step atop the wood boards, they angle their bodies under it. The water here was too shallow for the docks to be very tall, requiring them to kneel and then to crawl.

It doesn't take long to get to what they're looking for. Despite being two rather short adults, they are, still, _adults_ , and as such barely fit inside, but that doesn't deter them. Far beneath the docks, shrouded in netting and various fabrics with shells and what looked like animal teeth hanging from it, is a little fort. Various pillows, fabrics, books and shiny bottles made up the tiny space. Sand lightly coated some of it, with certain bottles half-buried while the books looked a little waterlogged. Yet it wasn't nearly as dirty as one might think considering how long it was left alone, and Kamui suspected Asra might have done a little more than just check on it the last he was here.

The space is only large enough to fit the upper halves of their torsos inside, and they have to lie side by side, squeezed close together. Kamui reaches out and smooths his hand across a red and gold pillow, swiping the sand off of it. It was easy to imagine Asra lying here as a child, with the pillows as his bedding and the stray fabrics, which looked to be scarves for the most part, as blankets. The colorful bottles must have been fascinating to look at for a child, in much the same way that Asra liked crystals and other such trinkets now.

Although they also must have been good for carrying water and magically purifying it for drinking, something he would have needed to do to stay alive, and that's a much less fluffy thought to have.

Part of Kamui wished he could travel back in time to take care of Asra the way a parent would. The rest of him wanted to travel back in time to smother the former Count in his cradle, so maybe none of this would have ever happened to begin with.

Which was an interesting train of thought. If Asra still had his parents, would they have still met and fallen in love? Would Asra act differently? Would they have all accepted Kamui as a part of their family, just as easily as they did now?

Would Kamui have had a family that would do the same for him…?

No, probably not.

"It feels like you," Kamui comments, watching a smile form on Asra's face from out of the corner of his eye. The little fort was cozy, colorful, and a complete mess. Just like the magician himself.

Asra pulls one of the pillows closer to him, lying his head down on it despite the presence of sand on its surface. Kamui's fingers twitch with the urge to clean it off and start grooming his partner, but he manages to resist. "There used to be more in here," Asra explains. "But I took it with me when I moved into the hut with Muri. He's used to sleeping on stone, but I could never get used to being without a bed, or pillows at the very least. I remember, it was such an argument getting him to accept a bed when I finally had the gold to buy one for him."

The memory brings a small smile to his face, but there's sadness in his eyes, too, and Kamui can't get past that. It's hard to see this as anything other than horribly tragic. He was talking about being a child, a teenager, not a grown adult who can work for a living, and buy his own food, and be allowed into businesses alone without someone asking him where his parents are. It was adventurous and romantic to think about living nomadically as an adult, but it was just sad thinking about it for a child, who had no other choice.

Laying his head on the pillows, too, Kamui stares down at where Asra's fingers trace lazy patterns in the sand. "Um," Kamui starts, taking a moment to find his voice, "What was… you don't have to, but… Can I ask what it was like, on the first day?"

The two of them both know what he means, so he doesn't need to elaborate any further. Asra's soft eyes wander over the nostalgic sights around him, taking it all in, and growing distant in the process. His lips part, but it takes awhile before he says anything.

"Well…" Asra starts, pausing to collect himself as his voice came out a little thick. "I wasn't thrown out of my house right away. It took awhile. My parents just didn't come home one day, and I had no idea what was going on or why they weren't coming back. But I tried to be on my best behavior, thinking they'd come back and be so proud of me for my independence.

Then the guards came knocking, and I wasn't allowed to live there anymore." He flushes, turning slightly to face the pillow. "I had to be removed kicking and screaming. I just didn't get it, and kept trying to get back inside. I was scared, and kept thinking my parents were going to come back and wonder where I was. It was my home. I grew up there, I'd always been there. To lose it so suddenly… it was like I had lost a limb, and no one seemed to care. Everything felt wrong."

Kamui reaches over, laying a hand on Asra's back and rubbing gentle circles. The magician relaxes under his touch. Taking a moment to breathe, Asra eventually resumes his story.

"The first day, after all of that… once I figured out I couldn't keep sneaking back in without getting caught, I tried going to places I remembered my parents taking me. There were a few people who recognized me, and tried walking me home, and I thought maybe they could tell the guards to let me back in. But it didn't work. None of them offered to help me after that.

The palace guards wouldn't even talk to me. I went to an inn, not really understanding the concept of money. I got kicked out for trying to sneak into a room. You think you're really sneaky when you're a child, but you're not.

I tried begging, after that. It didn't work either. Everyone was used to seeing orphan children and their patience for them had long since ran out. Stealing felt wrong at the time, even though going hungry after having my parents around to feed me all the time felt like the end of the world. I actually thought I was going to die, that night.

I slept behind a building, on top of this bag full of leaves or maybe old clothes, I don't remember. It was the most comfortable thing I could find and it took a really long time to find it. And then, in the morning, I cried when I realized what happened wasn't a dream."

His eyes are starting to water, and so are Kamui's, throat tight and chest aching. He reaches for Asra's other side and pulls him close; the magician immediately turns to bury his face in Kamui's shoulder, right arm shifting to grasp at the back of his shirt. Kamui runs his hands through Asra's hair, combing gently through tangles.

"You didn't deserve that," Kamui whispers, wrapping his arms tighter the moment he hears a sharp, choked breath escape Asra.

"Kamui," Asra starts, voice trembling. "I didn't come here to cry." With a soft, mirthless laugh, Kamui presses a kiss to the top of Asra's head.

"I'm sorry. I just can't help but think about how sad this all is. I know it can't have all been bad, but it's hard not to dwell on the terrible aspects of it. You were a child, you shouldn't have been sleeping in garbage and getting turned away by the adults that were supposed to protect you. It's horrible, it's disgusting. I'm kind of angry, actually."

Mostly sad and on the verge of tears, though. Which was probably why Asra was, too, if he wasn't already crying. Kamui couldn't help that he was so emotional; he only wished Asra didn't have to feel it, too. The downside of sharing a heart, he supposes.

"I'll stop," Kamui hastily adds, but Asra shakes his head, pulling back enough to look him in the eye. There was moisture around Asra's eyes, but he seemed to be handling himself well, otherwise. Kamui wondered how much of it was just a natural part of Asra's personality, and how much of it was hiding his emotions out of necessity to his survival. It must have blended together eventually.

"No, don't. I'm… it's nice to hear someone say these kinds of things out loud," Asra says, growing quieter the further he goes along. His eyes droop, tracing the line of Kamui's collarbone. "You're right. It wasn't fair. I can't fault anyone, not really, although I do feel bitter about it sometimes."

"I don't blame you. I think I'd be a pretty bitter person if I had to go through all that."

"You—" Asra starts, but quickly cuts himself off, almost literally biting his tongue in the process. A look of surprise passes over him before quickly being swept away, eyes darting nervously around the area at random until settling on glass bottle in the corner. "Uh, hey. Look at this," he says, in a obvious bid to avoid whatever he'd been about to say—Kamui decides to let it slide—and raises up to reach for the item in question.

They spend awhile perusing Asra's wares, so to speak, and Kamui listens intently as Asra regales him with tales of his past. They never go into _too_ much detail, but Kamui loves listening to him speak anyway. Although, it doesn't take very long before he starts to struggle, vocal chords clearly overworked as he can't carry on a sentence without feeling the need to cough.

That's when they take the time to just relax instead, lying in each other's arms, heads on the decades old pillows, and staring around them at all the patterns and colors. The sun was much higher in the sky now, and the atmosphere was perfect as a result of it shining in through the tent, just like Asra had said. Kamui wonders if this is the kind of thing Asra saw every morning, as a child. It was nice. It was also making Kamui want a canopy for their bedroom. That might be something he could run by his partners later on.

Asra clears his throat, a signal that he was about to say something more. Kamui looks up towards him, catching him staring down at the pillows between them. "Um… do you want to know, the thing that I struggled with the most, back then?" Asra asks.

It was obvious by the look in his eyes that whatever he was about to say was a bit of a downer, but Kamui nods anyway. Very rarely did Asra open up this much about the way he felt. It was more frequent lately, and getting better. A lot of that had to do with Kamui's encouragements, though, so he had to keep that up now, giving Asra his full attention.

"It wasn't… the going hungry, or staying warm in the winter," Asra continues. "You get used to those things. But when I was scared and wondered if I'd live to see tomorrow, I'd remember the way my parents used to hold me, and it… really hurt. It felt like everything would be okay if I could just have them there to hold me through it, but I knew that was never going to happen. You try not to think about those sorts of things but it always slips through the cracks eventually."

He turns, catching Kamui's eye. He reaches out, caressing the side of Kamui's face. "Whenever I started to cry, one of my parents was right there to pick me up, or to hug me. There was no one to do that for me anymore, so I just had to stop crying. But now I have you, and you cry enough for both of us."

The teasing broke the tension, and Kamui huffs before reaching out and pinching Asra's nose. Playfully squirming to try and get away, Asra laughs, while Kamui says, "Ohhh, you think you're really cute and funny, don't you, Asra Alnazar?"

After relinquishing his nose, Asra grins salaciously and says, "I think _you're_ really cute and funny…" Kamui retaliates by squishing Asra's cheeks in both hands, as the magician giggles.

"Shut up! _You're_ cute!"

Still laughing, Asra quickly dives in, stealing a kiss. " _You_ are," he insists with a smug grin, and dips back in for another, longer kiss before Kamui can say anything. In return, Kamui's arms wrap around him, pulling him closer, until eventually he raises up on one knee to lean over Kamui, grinning as they continue to kiss. They part for breath, foreheads touching. And then, slowly, Asra begins to laugh.

"What?" Kamui asks, a smile forming as Asra's laughter begins to grow contagious.

"I was just thinking," Asra begins, "If my child self walked in on this, he'd be so disgusted."

At his description, Kamui chuckles, too, saying, "What, why?"

"Oh, you know." Asra wiggles his fingers. "Cooties."

Rolling his eyes, Kamui scoffs. "Ohhh, of course. How could I forget such a dangerous and very real disease? Well, it's too bad. We've been giving it to each other for years now, so we're screwed. Not even Julian can fix us now."

"Mmm, Ilya's got it too, anyway."

They continue to kiss a while longer, before Asra settles his head on Kamui's chest. The shirt he'd worn was hanging off the sides of his shoulders by design, making most of his upper torso visible. A lot of his outfits were like this, now, thriving on the feeling of skin-on-skin contact with his partners, either in situations just like this one, or as a result of the fact that neither of them ever buttoned up their shirts. Intimate hugs were greatly improved by a lack of clothing, in his professional opinion.

As always, Asra laid with his ear over Kamui's heart, listening to its slow and gentle beating. There was a smile on his face, and he was looking outwards, towards the waves lapping at the shore nearby. Luckily their feet were far enough away that they could avoid getting wet. One of few perks to being so short, he supposes.

"Sometimes," Asra starts, and Kamui's gaze shifts to stare down at him, "I wonder what it would be like if we'd met as children. Maybe it's better that we didn't, though. Vesuvia had its hands full already with _one_ troublemaking, magic toddler. But, still, I… you're only two years older than me. Muri never really liked hugging, but…"

"Asra, you were the cutest child I've ever seen in my life. I don't remember what I was like at that age, but I'm pretty confident I would have loved you. You'd need some really heavy duty tools to separate us, I think."

An affectionate smile blooms on Asra's face, and he burrows in closer, nuzzling against Kamui's smooth chest. "I would have loved that," he says, kissing the space between Kamui's pectorals. His lips trail up towards a pale neck and jaw before finding soft, rose tinted lips. One of his hands slips into Kamui's, fingers tangling. Their eyes catch, and Asra smiles sweetly, leaning his forehead against Kamui's. "I love you, Kamui."

Warmth spreads through Kamui's chest as he leans in for another kiss, tasting a trace of something salty on Asra's lips. "I love you, too," he says.

Eventually, their stomaches start to rumble, and they're forced to climb back out of the little makeshift bedroom, shaking sand out of their clothes. Their hands find each other like they're magnetized, and they begin heading towards home, passing through the market to pick up some stuff for breakfast, first. Maybe Julian would be able to join them, Kamui muses.

As they start nearing the shop, Kamui's mind begins to drift, and he can't help but want to vocalize his thoughts.

"Hey, Asra," he says, the shop coming into view. He receives a soft hum of acknowledgement in response, with Asra sparing him a curious glance before returning to watching where he was walking. Hesitating, unsure on how to phrase what he wanted to say, exactly, it isn't until Asra is reaching to unlock the front door that Kamui blurts out, "What if we had a child together?"

If their groceries hadn't been packed away safely in Asra's bag, then they might have all spilled out on the street beneath them. Wide, violet eyes turn to him in shock, a thick blush coating Asra's face as his mouth opens and closes uselessly. There's panic in his eyes. All he ends up actually saying, though, is a very breathless, "…What?"

Nervous, Kamui starts playing with a strand of his own hair, trying and failing to look casual. "You know, I just… Don't you ever want to… D-Don't you ever think about… I mean," Kamui takes a deep breath before resuming his word vomit. "I don't remember my childhood, so I technically didn't actually have one. And you lost your parents so young, and had to grow up so fast. Don't you think it would be wonderful to be able to give someone something the two of us never had? A loving, safe, fun childhood surrounded by family and friends, never wanting for anything?"

Dumbfounded, Asra continues to stare at him, lips parted, looking uncertain. Anxiety claws at away at Kamui's insides and he opens his mouth to take it all back, when Asra says, "I… I didn't even know you _liked_ children. You've never said anything like this before, it really caught me off guard."

"Do you… Do you…?"

"I've never thought about it," he says, taking a step closer and wrapping an arm around Kamui's waist. "I didn't think I'd ever be having this conversation. To be honest, I thought I'd grow into a wizened old adventurer who retires to some alchemical tower and dies alone in his bed. Romance and children weren't part of it. No one… no one else was ever really a part of it. I wasn't so sure I'd even have Muriel around forever."

"You'll have me forever," Kamui promises. "Even if I have to come kicking and screaming out of the afterlife to get to you. Or _into_ the afterlife. Uh, please don't die, though. I don't have half a heart to give and I'd rather not resort to murder." _But I would, if I had to_.

Asra's lips curl into a playful grin. "For you? I'll live forever." Returning the smile, Kamui leans forward, their lips meeting. Pale hands rest on Asra's chest, one feeling the thrum of his heart beating beneath his palm. Kamui's question had really surprised him, it seemed, as his heart was only just beginning to calm down.

Speaking of, he was still quite eager for a response. But to ask again… maybe this was another thing Asra was avoiding, something he just wasn't ready for. That was fine.

Only, Kamui couldn't stop thinking about it now that he'd started; there was a space upstairs where they could build a room for a child to stay in. They'd all cook for them, and Asra could knit them something to wear, some blankets for the winter, things like that. Julian would know what to do if they ever got sick. And there was all the decorating, and the outfits. They would learn magic from Kamui and Asra, and sit in Julian's lap while he taught them to read. They had so many relatives to come visit. And maybe Portia and Nadia would have a child, too, and they could be friends.

It was so exciting to think about. What would they be like? Like him, like Asra? What sort of magic would they specialize in, what familiar would they have, what would they name it? What kind of tea would they like? They'd probably have such beautiful, fluffy white hair, and Kamui could style it and decorate it and then teach _them_ to style and decorate their own hair, too.

A soft mouth presses over his, and Asra nuzzles into his cheek, speaking softly into his ear. "I think it's a good idea. Raising a child together," he says. "But I'm not ready for that right now."

Nodding slowly, Kamui tries his best to hide his excitement as he says, "You're right. I just turned thirty, but I don't exactly have all thirty years experience under my belt. I'm probably not ready yet, either."

The shape of Asra's smile can be felt against his jaw. The hand at Kamui's back raises into his hair, fingers tangling in ivory curls. "I can tell you're excited," Asra chuckles. "Maybe… while we wait, we can start preparing. For starters, you could think of a name for us to use."

"Aya," Kamui blurts out. Surprised, Asra pulls back enough to look him in the eye, and Kamui's face burns. He quickly averts his gaze, eyes darting around nervously, yet there was no one around to see this. "I, uh. Not that I. I haven't, uh, I haven't thought about this extensively for months, or anything. That was just. I."

The sound of Asra's laughter by his ear sends a shiver down his spine, and draws his attention back to the magician slowly laying his head on a pale shoulder. Lilac eyes stare up at him fondly, lips curled into a sly grin. "I love you, Kamui," Asra croons, surprising him with the unexpectedly sweet response. He can feel his face burn even brighter, heart pounding. Asra brings their joined hands up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of Kamui's hand. Long ivory lashes flutter up at him. "Let's go inside. You can tell me all about this name you thought of just now and haven't been planning for months while we make breakfast."

Kamui ducks his head in embarrassment. "Okay," he mumbles. Asra kisses his jaw, chuckling low to himself as he heads back for the door, lightly tugging Kamui along.

**Author's Note:**

> http://koteosa.carrd.co/


End file.
